Tripod

THREE is the magic number. THREE is the tripod... THREE is always stronger than two. two is never enough, four is too many. THREE valleys. THREE lions.THREE sides to a triangle (it's by far the best shape). THREE is considered a good number in chinese culture because it sounds like the word "alive" (feel like chinese people just know stuff, so am inclined to believe this). everyone counts to THREE, "right, on the count of THREE, everybody cheer!". THREE bean salad (maybe this could replace baked bean analogy, do you want to be the kindey bean? yellow bean? or green bean?) Chekov play = the THREE sisters. THREE MUSKETEERS. it's is all about THREE. well, us THREE that is. THREE kisses xxx

where is hell?

hell is on a stick and i'm sucking on it. i can't swallow, bite or chew, just suck until it's all gone. it tastes like a sour sting on my tongue. it's a shame sucking hell takes so long.

happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

family are a funny bunch, you live with them for years and years and yet somehow they can seem alien at times. you don't know them and they don't know you.
it's always the same with relationships as well. you can watch a couple for as long as you like, but you can never possibly understand the inner workings of the thing they call love unless you are in it yourself and then when you are in your own little family unit all you can do is see out at how much happier everyone else seems. the grass is always greener. to appreciate what we have at any given moment is history; it doesn't go with our lifestyles. soul searching has become our middle name. what a contradiction in terms! this blog is just another extension of our confession obsessed lives. and i love it. am immersed in it. and am suffocating in it.

am burning up (it gives off a strange heat) sitting in front of the computer thinking i am looking for a job when in reality i am looking at facebook, hotmail, twitter and this blog. how easy it has become to waste huge amounts of time doing 'stuff' on the internet and on sites that really aren't of much use . i have now convinced myself that it wasn't my fault i did not do all the things today that i told myself this morning i would do, i have simply been too busy. there was no time to learn french, start knitting an orange dress with big blue buttons, play the piano, look for jobs abroad or finish my book. today has been non stop. what have i done? i have replied to fourteen inbox messages on facebook, had four long phone calls to friends (albeit very pleasant, they did not help in the completion of my tasks), watched hollyoaks (this is as bad as it gets, and i am ashamed to admit to it) and eaten food (at no point when eating the food was i actually hungry to start with, i just did it to fill a void, but an emotional one not a physical one). even now, i am fighting with various family members to stay on the computer under the guise that i REALLY need it, and the things i am doing are SO IMPORTANT, and that i have to look for a job NOW... but i'm still not. i have persuaded myself, even though previously i would have scoffed at the thought, that twitter, fb (facebook), and this blogger thing are essential and necessary parts of my modern life. but i'm not so sure. today they have existed in my life as nothing other than one big distraction from actually living my life. i have spoken to my friend suse on the phone, on twitter and on fb today. i think i will send her an email just to check the rest of her day is going well.

stepford wife.com

washing done- check
kitchen cleaned- check
roast dinner started- check
sofa lined up with pattern of carpet- check
old dress with labels still attached being finally worn- check
secret cigarette- check
six feet under- check